I'd Lie
by yellowsocks
Summary: That Peyton Sawyer is one lucky girl because she's going to spend the rest of her life with the guy of my dreams.  Laley oneshot songfic. [I'd Lie by Taylor Swift]


**A/N: I'm a huge Naley fan, but I think it would be cool if Haley had some sort of like, secret love for Lucas. Anyways, I just like this song, and I wanted to write a fanfic about it. So...here it is! Enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: Tree Hill belongs to...someone that isn't me :( Oh. And I don't own the song I'd Lie by Taylor Swift either.**

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**I'd Lie**

_I don't think that passenger seat,  
__has ever looked this good to me_

My name is Haley James Scott. I have a son named James Lucas Scott, and a husband named Nathan Scott. I have my friends, Brooke Davis and Peyton Sawyer. I have my enemies, like Rachel Gatina. And then there's Lucas. We've been best friends for as long as I can remember. We pretty much grew up together, because I spent my life at his house. I had so many brothers and sisters, that sometimes it was nice to just get away, and that's where I went. His house was an escape for me. Being the youngest of so many, it was like me against them, and that sucked. But you know what's worse? Loving your best friend. It sucks enough as it is, but it's worse when you're married to your best friend's brother. Well, half brother. But still, it doesn't even matter because I'm married. I'm supposed to love Nathan.

_He tells me about his night,  
__and I count the colours in his eyes_

And don't get me wrong, I do love Nathan. But Lucas has my heart, and he probably always will. There's nothing I can do about that. But he doesn't know I love him, and he probably never will. Because it's for the best. If I told him I loved him it would mess up everything, and I can't take that risk. He's in love with Peyton Sawyer and it's no surprise because she really is great. She's pretty, and smart and loves music. But I'm all those things too, so why can't he love me? One of these days, him and Peyton are going to get married and I'll hate every second of it, but I'll pretend to be happy because that's what a best friend is supposed to do.

_He'll never fall in love he swears,  
__as he runs his fingers through his hair,  
__I'm laughing 'cause I hope he's wrong._

Right now he's in denial. Peyton's in California and I can tell it upsets him. Best friend's intuition. But he won't admit it, not even for a second. He tells me all the time, everything is fine. But I know he misses her like crazy and can't wait until she comes home and is in his arms once again. So when that day comes and he watches Peyton walk down the aisle towards him in her one of a kind 'Clothes Over Bros' wedding gown, and she becomes Mrs. Lucas Scott, I'm going to plaster that fake smile to my face and pretend to be happy for them. Because that's what I should do.

_And I don't think it ever crossed his mind,  
__he tells a joke, I fake a smile,  
__that I know all his favourite songs._

Not what I want to do. But what I know I should do, and what I have to do. That Peyton Sawyer is one lucky girl because she's going to spend the rest of her life with the guy of my dreams. One of the greatest guys I've ever met. A guy I know so much about. More than the average best friend usually does. I probably know more about him that he does about himself because when we were younger I really thought I'd marry Lucas Scott, so I had to know everything about him. I was completely obsessed. And I don't regret it, not even for a second. But now I know it will never happen.

_And I could tell you, his favourite colour's green,  
__he loves to argue, born on the seventeenth._

It was the first day of freshman year and I was hopelessly in love with him. So I made up some lame excuse about not wanting the other boys chasing me, so that he'd pretend to be my boyfriend. Being the great friend he was, he agreed and that first day of high school was the best day of my life, because for that day, I was on the arm of Lucas Scott. It was my hand he was holding and his arm was around my neck. Even if it was all pretend, it didn't matter because he was the one next to me. And that was more than I could ever ask for. It was a dream come true.

_His sister's beautiful, he has his father's eyes.  
__And if you ask me if I love him,  
__I'd lie._

But then Peyton Sawyer came along and he fell for her, and boy did he fall hard. Peyton was to him, as he was to me. And it hurt to see him loving someone else when he meant so much to me. He watched her for two whole years and did absolutely nothing. Because he knew he didn't have a chance of getting Nathan Scott's cheerleader girlfriend. He was a nobody, just like me. And you can't steal your half brother's girlfriend, even if you hate him. It's just not right. But Peyton and Nathan helped Lucas out. They broke up at the beginning of our junior year and I got scared. Lucas was going to go after Peyton now, because there was nothing stopping him. Nathan hated him, but he had no claim on Peyton, she was single, as was Nathan.

_He looks around the room,  
__innocently overlooks the truth._

All of a sudden, Nathan wanted me to tutor him, and with the whole Lucas and Nathan hating each other thing, I wasn't so sure it was going to work. I knew Lucas would absolutely hate me for helping me, but against my better judgement, I made a deal with Nathan. He left Lucas alone, I would help him. I figured that way, Lucas would be happy, and he'd just never have to know I was tutoring the person he hated the most in this world. Nathan agreed to this, and so we started meeting in the mornings before school. I don't think I could tell you exactly when I realized I liked Nathan. I guess it was the fact that when Nathan's not acting like his ass of a father, him and Lucas are so much alike. But then everything went wrong. Lucas found out I was tutoring Nathan and he was furious. I was angry with myself for screwing things up.

_Shouldn't a light go on?  
__Doesn't he know, that I've had him memorized  
__For so long?_

Lucas was with Peyton for about 2 seconds before Peyton got scared. And Lucas ended up in the arms of Brooke Davis. Great, just perfect. Now I have to fight not one, but two girls for his attention? Could it get any worse? I was beginning to think it was pointless to keep chasing after Lucas, so I gave up. I threw myself into the relationship with Nathan, because he wasn't Lucas, but I knew I didn't have a chance with Lucas. Nathan was... attainable. So I did it. I love Nathan, always have, always will. But I'll always love Lucas more.

_He sees everything black and white,  
__never let nobody see him cry.  
__I don't let nobody see me,  
__wishing he was mine._

Nathan and I got married in the middle of our junior year. The look on Lucas' face when we told him, almost killed me. Him and Nathan had pretty much buried the hatchet, but he didn't think Nathan would marry his best friend. At least not this early. I felt so terrible, but I put on that smile, that by then I had perfected and pretended that nothing was wrong, even though nothing was right. I knew now, that nothing was going to be right. I was married now, so there was no hope for me and Lucas, but somehow I still found myself wishing I was in his arms.

_Yes, I could tell you his favourite colour's green.  
__He loves to argue, born on the seventeenth._

I got the chance of a life time soon after that. I went on tour with Gavin Degraw, The Wreckers and Chris Keller. Nathan told me that if I left we were over and so I did it. I felt like marrying Nathan was a mistake, so I ran away because I couldn't deal with my problems. I left town to avoid the feelings I had for Lucas. I needed time away from everyone else to figure out where my heart was. To figure out how the hell I was going to get myself out of this mess. Nathan had told me it was over, but Lucas still didn't see me as anything more than a best friend. And I really meant to go back, even if I was going to have to be alone, but it just seemed so much easier to stay away.

_His sister's beautiful, he has his father's eyes.  
__And if you ask me if I love him,  
__I'd lie._

When I finally found the courage to return, I found out how much my leaving had destroyed Nathan. I had always been told that it was me who made Nathan a better person, and I was shocked to find out it was true. Without me, Nathan was the jerk I had once known, but what was worse is that I was watching him fall, and I was the only one who could help. So I gave up everything I wanted for him. I wanted Lucas, but I knew without me, he had nothing to live for. Feeling somewhat obliged to fix things with, we began to mend our marriage. Maybe marrying him hadn't been a mistake, and maybe I really could be happy with him. So as I watched Lucas fall for Brooke, I fixed things with Nathan.

_He stands there then walks away,  
__My God, if I could only say,  
__I'm holding every breath for you._

Nathan and I renewed our vows just as Brooke and Lucas fell apart and I felt my heart break once again. I knew I'd missed my chance and if I had just signed those damn annulment papers, I wouldn't be in this position right now. I had told myself that Nathan was my always and forever and didn't sign them. I really wanted Nathan to be the one, so I told myself he was, and tried to forget about Lucas. But you can't just forget about your best friend. I couldn't give up Lucas, so instead I tried to give up the feelings I had for him. I tried to love Nathan more.

_He'd never tell you, but he can play guitar  
__I think he can see through,  
__everything but my heart._

Soon enough, Lucas found his way back to Peyton. I thought that things would finally work out. Nathan and I were expecting our first child and Lucas and Peyton were really happy together. As much as I still sometimes found myself wanting Lucas, I knew I had something good with Nathan and I wasn't going to give that up for something I didn't have a chance at. Nathan and I had worked too hard to keep this together to give it all up now. I was going to let everyone be happy and not mess things up anymore.

_First thought when I wake up,  
__is my God he's beautiful._

_So I put on my makeup,  
__and pray for a miracle._

James Lucas Scott was born on graduation day. He's the spitting image of his father, but when I see those trademark blue Scott eyes, I don't think of Nathan. It's James' godfather and Uncle Lucas that I see, and I hope that one day James and Lily, Lucas' sister will be best of friends just like we were.

_Yes I could tell you, his favourite colour's green.  
__He loves to argue, oh and it kills me.  
__His sister's beautiful, he has his father's eyes._

Maybe one of these days I'll tell him. I'll sit him down and tell him exactly how I feel, I'll tell him this story. But for now, I'll let him be happy with Peyton and I'll be happy with Nathan, because what's meant to be will be and that's what is. So I'll leave well enough alone for now, I won't mess things up for the four of us. If you ask me if I love him, I'd lie.

_And if you ask me if I love him,  
__if you ask me if I love him,  
__I'd lie._

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